Ephesians 4:6– One God and Father of all, who [is] above all, and through all, and in you all. NIV

Just days after Father’s day on June 19, Antwon Rose Jr, an unarmed 17 year old was fatally killed by a police officer in Philadelphia who is now facing criminal homicide.  In the Bronx, Leasandro ”Junior” Guzman-Feliz, a 15 yr old member of the NYPD Explorer Program was fatally stabbed to death on June 20 in a case of mistaken identity.  How can such evil live in people I often wonder.  Scriptures like Ephesians 4:6  make me struggle with believing God is in all people. ALL people, really?  Even the ungodly?  How could God be in the member of a murderous gang or lethal police officers when the innocent are slaughtered?  It is hard to suppose that God loves them as much as he loves the Juniors or any one of us today.  But He does.  He genuinely does.

In reading the news articles about both of these young teens, no mention of their fathers was found.  Yet I am confident that they both had a Father.  The same Father who is in heaven and who truly loves them.  Though I, like no one can else can exactly explain why this happened.  God is not the blame for the consequences of this fallen world.  Just know a Risen and Just God is above us all.  He does not sleep or slumber or make a mistake.  Praise God His will though heart wrenchingly challenging for us at times Be done.  Death since the Garden of Eden is not God’s will- only eternal life.  But it is Satan’s.

Looking at my son about the same ages as these two young men, I try to understand and figure out God’s love.  Even my own son has hurt me, being human subject to err and sin, but truth is I still love him.  I cannot help it. I think I will always love him and perhaps risk my life for him.  At least I believe so.  When he and my husband talk together, watching basketball one minute then arguing on whose turn it is to do the dishes the next.  It makes me realize that God is staying in it all the way for the relationship with us. Most likely he cannot help it.  He’s so full of love.

He is our Father.  He just Loves, Loves, Loves us.  Since the beginning of time with Adam and Eve he’s longed to be among us and have a relationship with us.  Longed through sending us the prophets and sending out the disciples.  Even though we do wrong. He loves us so much that his eternal plan was ultimately to maintain that Father/Child relationship with us. Costing him the sacrifice of his own Father/Son relationship with Jesus. So you can literally say He loved us to death.

One thing though, Jesus was perfect and we are not.  He was infallible in every faculty -yet took on our plentiful deliberate and in deliberate wrongs.  Taking on your sin, mine and every one of those gang or police members- Jesus is God Jr.  Our response can be one of two things Thank you or No thank you.  If we seek a relationship with him we say Yes and live a new life, with a new mind and new behaviors. If we say No, we walk away from the greatest love we could ever know in this life.

Concern: Sister, are you in a Father/daughter relationship with God?

Encouragement: 2 Cor 6:18 “And, “I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”

Act:  Godliness means to be “Godlike” or “Christlike”.  Having an active devotion to God.  With God as the center of your life, to please Him will become your nature. Fear him, revere him and love Him. Allow God to be the wheel within your wheel-will bring you value for all things. 1 Tim 4:8 “godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come”.

2 Tim 1:5 I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. (NLT) 

WHEN on May 18, 2018, just 5 days after Mother’s Day, purportedly 47 year old Founder/CEO of Goddessy Organics Stephanie Adams fatally pushed her 7yr old son Vincent and then leaped herself  WHERE from the top floor of the Gotham Hotel in NYC around 8:15a.m.  WHAT?! Adams, a self-claimed direct descendant from Presidents John and Quincy Adams was a stunning model since the age of 16.  Not only was this New Jersey native a famous centerfold for a popular men’s entertainment magazine but was also a university graduate who founded her own publishing agency in 2007 called Goddessy.  WHO was Raised by two aunts, Stephanie following the death of one of them from breast cancer, authored one of two dozen metaphysical books called -He Only Takes The Best.  Despite winning a 1.2 million dollar lawsuit against the NYPD for physical injuries, Stephanie was already a self made millionaire before the age of 30.  It was reported that she was distraught from the legal inability of travelling with her son to Spain and/or being involved in a nasty divorce court battle with her also wealthy husband.  No one fully knows the underlying reasons such a beautiful, intelligent, affluent, middle aged woman with an outwardly seeming amazing life would take hers-and that of her only child. WHY???

HOW could she? When by and large, good mothering traits include empathy, strength, patience, support, humility, authoritativeness, kindness, hardworking, forgiving, persevering, loyalty, positivity, responsibility, trustworthiness, creativity, selflessness, protection, instruction and LOVE.  Such astounding love that ties all of these qualities together, covers over and fills in the erroneous gaps made in showing them. Characteristics that have stirred some of the most beautiful, tear provoking songs like The Spinners Sweet Sadie, The Intruders I’ll Always Love my Mama and Boyz 2 Men –A Song for Mama. Love that’s inspired some intense movies like Sophie’s Choice starring Merryl Streep or Breaking In with Gabriel Union; motivated some heartfelt speeches like Kevin Durant’s message to mom Wanda Pratt “You are the real MVP”.  Essentially, I think about my own mother, Carolyn.  “Mommy” as I still affectionately call her now well into my adult years epitomizes all of these characteristics above and beyond.  So every mother’s day, calling her, sending her gifts, praising her for all she has done and continues to do seems unparalleled to what she means to me.  For me her greatest legacy will be showing me faith in God.  My late grandmothers too Gladys and Clyde teaching me to pray and to always go to church.  I’m grateful that my mothers persisted in the hardest of times, stood fast through the most tumultuous of emotions, and carried on through the most devastating of life’s circumstances-despite Satan’s sifting plans.  Though my mothers weren’t perfect they relied on a perfect God and His word. I live to do the same.  So I thank God because of who they are and were- intelligent, beautiful and wealthy in all things that everlastingly matters.  LOVE.  Because of them -I am!

Concern:  Sister, are you a loving mother? Whether or not you have children you can model persevering traits of a good mother to those that look up to you in your family and community.

Encouragement:  John 19:26 “When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!  While Jesus was dying he took time to honor and show concern for his mother.  He showed mothering concern over Mary and tasked the apostle John to look after her in his home after his earthly death.

Act:  For those of us sisters that are blessed to have our mothers still here with us let us show Jesus like concern for our mothers.  “Give me my flowers now!” my late godmother and aunt Minnie would say meaning don’t wait till she passed. Don’t save till Mother’s day to call*, visit, care, give thoughtful gifts, after your earthly moms (family, neighbors, sisters in the ministry, etc).  God commands us to (Matt 15) and because it is the lovingly right thing to do.  For those that no longer have our mothers here we can carry on their legacies of love and show them respect by planting flowers by their grave or remembering them in our thoughts, words and actions.  Sisters, even if your mother mistreated, abandoned you or in some way sinned against you -God still calls you to LOVE (Luke 6:27) You can always Pray for your mother that she will find and follow the Lord.  Know that you can be kind and feel a mothers love because God loves you. (Isa 49. 15). Persevere because love never Fails. 1 Cor 13.

*Did you know?  In the United States alone, around 122 million phone calls are made to moms on Mother’s Day.

My mother and I, 2012

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/manhattan/playboy-model-pushed-son-jumped-death-police-article-1.4001944

https://mom.me/entertainment/19195-10-traits-great-moms-and-great-leaders-share/

https://wehavekids.com/family-relationships/50-ways-to-show-your-mom-you-appreciate-her

https://osr.org/blog/tips-gifts/20-fun-facts-about-mothers-day/

Isaiah 43:2 When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. (NLT)

“I was in service…I became paranoid thinking that the minister’s wife was trying to jump me. That she had people waiting outside to jump me… erratic talking to myself thinking that everybody was talking about me… it’s so important to have people be aware in one another’s life…the sisters were there to pray for me, who didn’t judge me.  Oh Ariana you’re talking crazy… I was there to have that support. .. I was able to sit outside cause I couldn’t be in service…Them out there with me helped me a whole bunch… I was screaming…I was embarrassed, I didn’t want to go back. ”-A manic episode as self-disclosed by Ariana

Like Ariana, millions of people recurrently struggle with mental illness while following God. Such as myself who struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) aka seasonal depression. It’s true since the fall of man humans were opened to physical and mental illness among other imperfections.  Although God is able to give or take away anything, Jesus’ grace for the believer through faith must be sufficient.  For though there is yet no cure, from ADHD to Voyeuristic Disorders, mental illness does not have to be a curse.  As Paul says in 2 Cor 12:7 about a “thorn in his flesh”, it can be looked at in a wider spectrum as a glorious way to keep reliant on Him, letting his power shine in you and to help strengthen others experiencing similar situations.

One in four people in the world will be affected by mental or neurological disorders at some point in their lives. Around 450 million people currently suffer from such conditions, placing mental disorders among the leading causes of ill-health and disability worldwide. http://www.who.int/whr/2001/media_centre/press_release/en/

Being diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder at age 18, Ariana a wife, mother and college student, feels that mental illness affects her spiritual walk about 90% of the time.  “There is a biological component but it is also very much spiritual warfare”.  She ascribes mental illness as having a quality of demonic possession.  As in the case of Legion in Mark 5, a man with an impure spirit, he cut himself with stones and was unable to be stabilized.  The demons eventually left him and their result drove them to volatile, suicidal and even murderous ends.  Ariana states this is what some mental illnesses look like, though there was no medical classification for it in earlier/biblical times. Yet in admitting she has a challenge, she does not let the illness define her or determine her outcome.  Ariana allows God’s mercy and grace to direct her actions with this condition.  Through much prayer, help and a viable self-care process–she manages to control it.

“It’s a good day,” Ariana says of recent times.  Meaning that she has had a reduction of triggers due to being acutely self-aware of her past triggers.  “Every episode is triggered”.  So to be effective for God, Ariana has a wellness plan for her triggers during manic and depressive episodes.  She also was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (which we did not discuss in this article).  Therefore, depending on what piece of illness she is facing, she decides how to remedy symptoms.  She mainly practices talk therapy as she continues to take medication.

Talk therapy/ psychotherapy  is based on the core idea that mental disorders are largely based on reactions to one’s environment so treatment on what’s bothersome through talking can be clarified, resulting in changes in behavior and resolution of conflicts. *

Ariana’s plan contains a clear list of what she is experiencing and how her family can identify and assist her through it.  For example, during mania, her worst episode could include cutting, hitting people and throwing things; likewise during depression, disorderly eating in bed, overwhelming sadness is displayed.  But her worst episode involved being with their son and hearing him say, “Mommy be happy”.  In both circumstances, she cannot stop the behaviors.  Describing it as being on the outside of a two-way mirror, you can see in but can’t stop what’s happening inside.  One of her treatment options has been for her husband to provide protective guardianship for their son and take Ariana outside for a stroll.

Great transparency and greater love was Ariana’s main ground plan in finding herself through these diagnoses and what worked.  Her “everyone around” support system is there on the dime, her team includes: husband, mom, grandmother, church friends, college professors, etc.   Though she also credits her current successful maintenance on talk therapy and medication, she greatly recommends and has found help in formal support groups, professional therapists and treatment programs.  While acquiring her Bachelors degree she states the latter methods are less of a fit right now, but encourages them for others.  Overall, she believes being vulnerable and open with your own life is a good approach.   If there is something dangerous, destructive, deviant and undesirable in your regular behavior/thinking patterns get help.  If you sense something in others, approach with humility. “I sense/ feel that…”, “Correct me if I’m wrong..” are great starters.  Share your story, “You don’t have to have a mental illness to relate..we all go through things”, Ariana remarks.  Look for cues, you might just save someone’s life!

In final thoughts, Ariana says, “God doesn’t love us any different… A) you are not alone.  Satan likes to put that in our ear.  B) God still has a plan for you even in the messiness…  So hold on”.  Thank you greatly Ariana for sharing your inspiring and victorious story-many blessings to you, your family, friends and those you will touch. We wish you to congratulate you on your graduation next month and much success in continuing your educational pursuits to obtain a Doctorate in Psychology.  To God be the Glory!

Concern:  Sister, Do you have a plan for self-control and self-care?  Are you a slave to food, money, lust, gossip, etc.  You lack self-control.  Are you a type of superwoman always doing for others than herself, being stressed out and suffering in silence.  You lack self-care. You can’t function efficiently if you are not ok.  You cannot afford (in time, money,  all types of waste) to not be okay.  Be Devoted to You Too.

Encouragement:  Stop!  Do not participate in the precariousness of your spiritual, mental, emotional and physical health. 2 Tim 1:7 For the Spirit of God does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.  Titus 1:8  Be one who “loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright and holy.” The Holy Spirit gives us self-control and discipline.  As someone baptized into Christ –you have the Power!  Remember Jesus gave his life and time for others but he always had his time with God first. He also got his rest in. This is how he practiced self-care by having self-control and adding things that are praiseworthy.  Matt 12:30-31

Act:  Pray to God for help.  Trust in the Lord and do good casting your anxieties on Him. Fellowship with his body of believers for help with your burdens and for empowering Encouragement.  As you practice Confession, Repentance, Daily Reading the word of God and maintaining a regular healthy spiritual and yes even physical walk with Christ- achieving self care and self control.  Sister, you are so worth every effort!

SIDENOTE:  If one suffers from pathological mental illness it may be difficult for them to be regular in Christian activities.  For example it’s hard to pray when you/others hear voices in your head.  Be empathetic.  Don’t write off/judge people as being nonspiritual.  Scrap the stigma & Ask questions.  Join/start a support group at church, find/revisit a therapist, share with someone, look for cues and be proactive to help!

For more info on Mental Health:

https://www.nami.org/find-support

https://www.webmd.com/depression/features/therapy-therapist#1

https://www.verywellmind.com/talk-therapy-2671994

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/unique-everybody-else/201301/troubled-souls-spirituality-mental-health-hazard

Psalm 46:5  God is within her, she will not fall.  (NIV)

March is Women’s History Month and on March 8^th International Women’s Day is celebrated every year.  This day commemorates women’s rights movements throughout the world.  A day we are aware of all women and girls.  It is an anti day-anti discrimination, anti-sexism and anti-violence.  Simultaneously, it is pro women’s achievements historically, politically, socially and the like.  The day focuses on progressing gender/sexual equality (in pay, resources, opportunities, value, etc.) thereby transforming and uniting the world.  This year the theme is Time is Now.

International Women’s Day was officially named that in 1910.  Yet began as a Women’s Day first observed right here in my great state of New York on Feb 28, 1909. It was initially organized by a socialist party leader Theresa Serber Malkiel, a suffragist and an educator who spent her latter life promoting education for immigrant women and assisting them with their naturalization.  Speak of the times.

Women are speaking out with strength, dignity and knowledge!  Although over 108 years have passed some issues are surprisingly (well may be not so surprisingly) relevant today.  Women still suffer from child -abduction, trafficking, labor and marriage. Nobel peace prize nominee, Jaha Dukureh is leading a movement as the UN Women Regional Goodwill Ambassador for Africa against FGM- Female Genital Mutilation.  As one who has undergone this mutilation at the age of 1 wk old she actively speaks out against this culturally, unhealthy, damaging practice. Lets support this.

The #Me Too movement founded by Tarana Burke in 1998 has helped over 17 million women to be survivors of sexual violence.  Empowering actresses, artists and all types of women from the homestead to the workplace, it seeks to companion women coming forward with their truths. To know socially no one is alone, for possible entrance into a place of healing and to disrupt the systems that perpetuate sexual violence, #Me too stands up for women.

Those movements have inspired many of today’s movements influencing young girls to speak out.  Images of Isabelle Hutchins, Emma Ann Miller and Olympic medalist Simone Biles are just 3 of 265 people who have accused US Gymnast national team doctor Larry Nassar of criminal sexual conduct.  In strength and numbers, these ladies have narrated their own horror stories and subsequent trauma such as anxiety, depression and suicide of others.  How gutsy of them all for the hope of proper lawful justice which was partially awarded in a court decision to imprison Nassar for 125 years. Bravo ladies!

Lastly, Delaney Tarr and Emma Gonzalez amongst other peers cried out in public forum against gun violence that took the lives of their friends at the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida on Feb 14, 2018.  These young Minervas articulated boldly that mass gun violence shootings will end with them and will lead the way in the March for Our Lives on March 24 in Washington, DC. These organizers have collected millions in donations from such notables as George Clooney and Oprah Winfrey for an expected attendance of about 500,000 people.  There is great prospect that this movement will prove to make a big impact on gun law reforms; making proud the school and perhaps the woman who gave it its moniker- Ms. Douglas, a 1900s advocate woman’s suffragist, an environmentalist fighter, a “fearless crusader” aka  “The Grand Dame of the Everglades”.

Concern: How do you think Jesus would treat women today and feel for the plight of women? What “Grand Dame” matter can you pursue to uplift your fellow and future femmes locally, nationally even globally for potential historical (or her-storical) impact?

Encouragement: Jesus was a man of all times.  Who used his time to change the times.  He stood up for righteousness, he stood for women, became their voice when they were speechless- The woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery, the woman with the alabaster jar.  Women are precious to God and our Father likens his heavenly fortress to womanly attributes in Psalms 46, to Jesus’ church in Ephesians 5, to wisdom in Luke 7 and also in Proverbs 1:20-21 “Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square; on top of the wall she cries out at the city gate she makes her speech.” Sisters we are Lord adored.

Act:  Esther and Ruth are forceful women who have books in the Bible named after them only- like Deborah. Deborah was a wife, poetess and outstanding warrior. Commentaries state she was an agitator stirring up public discussion, a ruler of Israel -leading God’s people including men, a spiritual mother to the nation and a prophetess whose heart was fixed on the mission of God.  Her mind knowledgeable and discerning the plans of God who has richly endowed her with all ability to share with others-Woman! Every Woman.

Please Join me on this International Day of Prayer for Women worldwide.

Dear Father, please be with my sisters that I love from everywhere 
Lean her into the arms of your Son Jesus who watches and cares
Guide and Protect her throughout the night and the day
Provide her with good gifts from above,
and may she trust You’re the Way.

In Jesus’ name I pray Amen.

For more info or to support these causes:

http://www.un.org/en/events/womensday/

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