A Conversation with Codependent Ministry Leader of Purity Group
1 Cor 6:13 The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Matt 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
One day a married woman was found engaging in self pleasuring acts with porn by her husband. When they were able to discuss this with one another, the husband shared his feelings of anger and inadequacy among a host of emotions. The wife/woman felt bad and apologized for the effect of her behavior on him. This led to an increase in her feelings of extreme shame and guilt. She stated that it was a longstanding habit. Although she admits that it was somewhat a pleasurable act, it was not what she really wanted to do. She could not feel good about herself knowing that she was being deceptive to so many, including herself but mostly to God. She felt that God could never forgive her and therefore she must be destined for hell. She stated she tried to stop before but felt hopeless because she did not know any other way to deal with such urges. This led her into deep rooted sadness, self-imprisonment and loneliness that made her feel even more terrible. In committed love, together they agreed to get help…(1 Cor 7)
To live a Pure Christian life in today’s times seems like an impossible task. Temptations to go astray seem to be everywhere. On the outside they appear in -television, movies, music and other forms; on the inside they appear in- lust, evil desires, idolatry and the like. God should understand our weakness right? Wrong. Heb 13:4 says that,”God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral”. He demonstrated his seriousness even with David a man after His own heart committed adultery with Bathsheba and it cost him the life of his newborn. Therefore, how important is it that we life in purity!
Sexual sin is one of the hardest sins to confess too because of the connotations of being dirty and private. However, God exclaims we must be pure. Noticeably, one of the first sins to be listed in the sins of commission in the Bible. Gal 5:19, 1 Cor 6:9 (references homosexuality); Matt 5:28 (looking at someone lustfully). Some sexual sins include pornography, adultery and masturbation. Please don’t think marriage is the cure all and end up with someone you can’t stand because you are acting improper (aka hot and bothered) for each other! Many married couples are addicted to online porn and struggle with adultery/sexual sin. Being addicted to these things cannot make a Christian feel free or have a normal life. Since it impedes on the quality of your life You Must Take Serious Action against this Sin. You don’t have to cut things off for healing, perhaps therapy may help more psychological cases. Fixing your relationship with God is the best way out! Committing sexual sins against your own body hurts you, the people living with you but moreover grieves the Holy Spirit of God who lives in you.
I have spoken with the codependent leader who due to the sensitivity of the topic chose to remain anonymous. She states a Codependent person is someone who lives with or is around a person who struggles with sexual sin (usually a spouse, roommate, etc). Just like other groups, this group cannot help you unless the person who is struggling admits to needing help. But what is different is that this group is Bible Based. So if you or your partner is not a Christian and/or not committed to following God this is not the group for you. You must understand God’s purpose for your life and your body otherwise you cannot find a solution and the risk is your salvation.
Concern (C): What steps do you take when facing a sexual temptation that is not of God? Do you talk confess it or keep it to yourself? Do you justify it or do you seek to irrationalize it with the Word of God. Satan is a liar might not be It for you Sis. And neither is it just raging hormones. Jesus was hungry and weak (physical temptation), lonely and a spiritual “newbie” (emotional temptation) Matt 4: 1-11 Jesus resisted Satan himself with specific scriptures and the Devil had to leave. Sister, do you have your armor ready? One of my immediate weapons is Joseph in Gen 39:9, “How could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?” Say No! Then Go. Get busy with God’s business. Satan finds it easy to tempt those who are idle. Jesus was always on the go with his goals. Lk 13:32. Our goal is heaven period. 2 Cor 4:17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs then all.
Encourage (E): Paul has a problem in we can relate to in Romans 7:1-25. Highlight vs 25. Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. This Purity Group is where you will find support in holding yourself accountable for your own sin! No one is going to chase you for your blessing or healing. But you will be checked in on weekly. Marrieds and Singles are very supported and come from various areas just to for the opportunity to grow in God. When the struggling individual has consistent victories they do graduate from the group. Yet will always be welcomed back for continued support in the recovery process. Married couples can discuss issues with other like individuals, men with men, women with women and of course together. What is sad states the Codependent Leader is that women do not want to come out and support their husbands. The perspective is it’s a “his” problem not an “our” problem. This type of reasoning is marital suicide. Being prideful with a negative attitude is not conducive to a victorious marriage and it is simply loving one another. Humble yourself to God through respecting your husband. Or were those vows for?
Act (A): Sister, act immediately when facing temptation. Memorize Scripture and have the Bible ready to read. It will convict you and convince you to follow God’s thinking. Offer up your situation to God in prayer. He loves you and is waiting to hear and help you. Variate your activities. Don’t just watch that tv show that always goes there, turn it off. Or why not fast/eliminate cable altogether? Matt 5:30. Don’t listen to slow music late at night how about some gospel or classical upliftment. Get reviews about that movie that is so popular. “If its not PG-13 then it isn’t for me”. Get radical about your change. Heaven’s done signed your name. Oh yes You’ve changed. Everytime you want to give up, just before, make Every Effort to Call someone. You need a partner in this who you trust can be reliable, understanding and helpful with your issue. Make sure that person can burn the midnight oil with you if needed. In an acronym sister M.O.V.E! God is always with you and you are His temple. In closing, Remember you are not your own. 1 Cor 6:20 You were brought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
Let’s get our House clean for 2018!
Do you know the psychological effects on the brain? Check out http://www.fighthenewdrug.org
For more info on where to find help, check out PureandSimpleMinistry.org.